Some Good Advice for Married Couples
Familiarity is often a result of the time that you have been together as a married couple. Nonetheless, when one is not careful this can become an obstacle that can leads to a marriage breakdown. If you judge the actions of your spouse without communicating to him/her, then you will tend to react to the inferred cues. The ability to be receptive before responding is one behavior that can help marriages to work. It is only a product of your own creation that you perceive certain innuendos in your partner and this has been a results of a seeming concurrent pattern that you have made up yourself. While it is true that certain cues are a form of non verbal communication, it is not good to rely only on these because there is such a thing as a real communication which is dynamic and changes according to the needs of the other person. Therefore, to rely on cues alone is not enough, and the need to verbally demand it or convey them is commensurate to good communication.
So, if we are always reacting to cues instead of being patient, kind, gentle and using our intuitive intelligence, we act like uncivilized people reacting to mere cues.
So what we need to do is to take away that reactive, destructive self and cultivate the use of our cognitive capabilities to be able to resist the powerful emotions that tends to overpower our rationality.
Our entitlement mindset is another thing that can destroy the marriage. If you have this attitude, believing that you deserve something from your spouse or have a legal right over what you want from your spouse, then this becomes an issues of relational conflict. While it is desirable to want something, it is another to demand to have a right over it. The best way to deal with this is to lessen your expectation of the other person, and learn to appreciate the good things that you find in the other person. If both are willing to do this, then each day you can find something good that can help cover up for the things that you want to change in your spouse.
If a couple is willing to give their marriage a chance but is not able to do it themselves, then it is best for them to seek a third party to help them out in their desire. With the help of a marriage counselor and therapist, they might be able to resolve their issues and learn to live in harmony with each other.